Falling In Love

     Falling in love is a concept that is the most basic and complex thing I have ever encountered.  For me, the notion of really "falling" in love, you know.... that head over heals, fireworks in the sky, can't sleep, talking about the person nonstop, and losing all perspective on anything else.... that kinda falling in love, I always believed it existed only in those cheesy movies my aunts are so obsessed with.  We all grew up with them, and everyone was looking for that person that made the whole world disappear.  Not me, I wasn't buying it.  If you had asked me at any point through my teen years all the way until about five years ago, I would have argued, with all confidence, that relationships were about one person missing something from their own life and trying to find it in another person.  For most, especially young people, it was about wanting security and a place that they belong...someone to hold onto when things went wrong.  I did believe that real love existed and that people sometimes found "that person" they wanted to share life with and made that forever kind of love...but to me, that kind of relationship wasn't about fireworks and butterflies, but started as a common interest and grew from friendship into love.  The magic, it was simply a Hollywood concept.  I felt I was ahead of the game, knowing this, and even though I did crave the contact.... the drama was never worth it and the thought of losing myself was my biggest fear.  I was okay in my world, and settled at the thought of it just being me.
    Then, it happened to me.  What's funny is that I had no idea it was happening.  We were friends, both of us in a new city, doing great work, and wanting to make a difference.  I am always happiest when I am out away from everything I know, working hard, exhausted, and never really knowing what's next.  To have someone else in that same place in their own life, it was just great.  I had a friend.  Pretty soon we weren't just working together, but going to street fairs, and wandering around downtown.  I felt something changing, but to me, that was just part of the magic of having a "best friend".  I remember that time period now and it always makes me laugh because we were both looking for reasons to hang out together, flirting nonstop, without even knowing it.  I actually remember the exact moment I realized what was happening.  We had been playing around downtown and ended up at this really popular fountain right as the sun was going down.  There were lots of people....families taking pictures, and kids climbing on the rocks with their glow in the dark toys.  Mostly though, there were couples holding hands and walking around the fountain.  I remember saying, "this would be a perfect place to take a date" and we both laughed....still not thinking of us in that way.  Then, out of nowhere, fireworks started, like on cue!  We both smiled, and right there....I knew.  Nothing was said, but I knew. 
      It would actually be a month or so later before we actually put a name to it, but once I knew, I fell hard!  Every cheesy emotion I mentioned above, I became that girl.  I was so happy.  That period between realizing I had found someone I liked that much, and actually beginning to date...it was such a great emotional rollercoaster.  I flirted so much, and rearranged everything to coincidentally be in the same place.  I layed awake, unable to stop smiling.....I was a chiche, and I loved it.  It's funny because, as my theory went, once the initial excitment dwindled, things should have lost their magic.  We had flirted for over a month, and when we actually had the courage to begin dating, things got even better.  I felt like I was actually living inside the movie!  We were taking long walks, going to big city street fairs, and had almost nightly fireworks over the city.  Even without believing it existed, I got that fairytale first love experience, complete with all the movie magic you could have imagined.
   Now this particular story didn't end with a wedding, a house, and two kids... but it is a wonderful story all the same.  I fell in love, and I will never again doubt how amazing that experience can be.  It is true that many of my fears came true as well... when you are that happy, it is easy to lose yourself, which I did, but that is just a lesson learned.  It has taken me quite awhile to really appreciate the entire process, but I believe in my heart that falling in love is something that every person should experience.  I am so happy that I did!